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December 20, 2004

My Reign as King of the Blogs

I've decided that my previous State of the Blogosphere address, while good, was not a real address from the King, since I wasn't King yet. So I am going to spell out what you, the citizens of the Blogosphere, can expect from my reign.

Everyone is influenced by someone. Everyone can look back on their life and see people who have influenced them, without whom their own lives would have been radically different. Politicians look back to people like Abe Lincoln, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson. Musicians are influenced by the music they listened to growing up. Writers are influenced by the greats in literature.

Kings are influenced by other kings, of course.

So the question is, who? There are so many great kings, who to emulate?

King Richard, the Lionheart? Shall I lead my followers into a Holy Crusade against unupdated websites? Go off to war and leave the blog in the hands of my evil brother?

William the Conquerer? Shall I lead invasions of those blogs who do not recognize my Kingship, and subjugate them? Change their language and force them to assimilate my culture?

But I have chosen my role model. Life is tough, and the King of the Blogs needs to be tougher. But the King of the Blogs should also know how to enjoy life to the fullest, so I will model my reign as King of the Blogs after King Arthur, the legendary King of the Britons.

Arthur appreciates science and technology, so the blogosphere is a perfect place to immitate his reign. His combat abilities (as evidenced in the fight against the Black Knight) show his willingness to fight against his foes, but to show them mercy when needed. Plus, Camelot was a notorious party center, and we all know how blogospherians like to party. And he is legendary, so I can basically do whatever I want, and say that it's based on something Arthur did that scholars don't know about yet.

Arthur surrounds himelf with quality advisors, and I would have to have some of those. One would have to be The King of Fools, since he is a fellow King (and has been a king longer that me, so he can give me suggestions). The current judges are former rulers, and persons of exquisite taste, so their opinions would be vital to my reign.

I think that an Arthurian reign will benefit the entire blogosphere. ANd this way, if I lose, I can always come back. Blogius rex quondam, blogius rex futurus.

Posted by Warren Kelly at December 20, 2004 01:49 PM
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