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September 01, 2004

More on "Tolerance"

Maybe that should say "moron tolerance."

Just read this little piece about a terrible hate crime. Unfortunately, you won't hear an uproar about it. The ACLU probably will ignore it. The Washington Post and the Atlanta Constitution probably won't say a word about it. And if there WERE hate-crime legislation on the books, I doubt that this particular crime would apply. Because it's against us.

I'm a proponent of free speech. I'm a fairly peaceful man. But if MY kid was at that daycare, and I found out who'd been threatening them, I might have to be reminded of the whole "love your enemy" thing, because some non-lethal violence might start sounding awfully good to me. And I have an oversized driver I don't use anymore .... Titanium hurts when applied forcefully to the head.

The sad thing is -- nothing will be done. They'll get the people on a trespassing charge -- maybe. If they find them at all. If it had happened at an abortion clinic, or at a gay bar, or a porn shop, they'd be all over those 'intolerant Christians'.

So let's raise a fuss about those intolerant atheists who run around threatening kids. Bunch of cowards.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 02:51 PM | Comments (0)

Theologian or Cheese

Head over to Naked Church and take this test. It's funny, yet sad at the same time.

And I don't have a funny last name. Do historians have odd last names? Hmmmm ... Catton, Noll, ..... nope! I'm safe.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 03:42 PM | Comments (0)

September 03, 2004

They're really reaching .....

Do you see two crosses here? I don't see standard, t-shaped crosses. I DO see two T-shapes, which many scholars think is the actual shape of the cross that Christ was crucified on. I see a cross on the small lectern, but not on the big one. And I had to have my wife show me that one.

Maybe it's because there was very little 'religion' at the GOP convention -- less, in fact, than at the Democratic National Convention. I've said before (though I'm not sure I did it here -- I know I've said it over at the PCCBoard Forums) that I thought that the Republicans were taking the evangelical vote for granted, and I think this convention proves it.

I'm not saying that that is a bad thing. After all, who are we going to vote for? I've ranted enough about the Constitution Party that everyone should know that isn't an option that I'll entertain. Libertarian? I've had too many encounters with Libertarians who are dismissive of Christian conservatives -- in very loud, rude, and unmistakable ways. I can't bring myself to go there, either.

So why should we expect the GOP to pay so much attention to us, when they need to attract the "undecided" voters? They need to make an impact on people who are a little more moderate that we are. They need to "broaden the base" so that a win in November is assured. We all want that, right?

But at the same time, it would have been nice if we'd have gotten a hat tip. A "Thanks for bringing us to the dance" before they went off to hit on the wallflower in the corner. An opening prayer by James Dobson would have been nice. The President mentioned our "pet issues" briefly, and then moved on to talk about the war some more. That was all we got.

It won't affect the party much right now, but in another four years, it could be a problem. Evangelicals as a block are realizing their political power. Give us four years to get our collective act together, and we'll be able to do more than sit by and watch "our party" flirt with everyone else.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:27 PM | Comments (0)

September 04, 2004

View from the Blogroll

I'm feeling a bit of writers block coming on, so I'm using this old cop out. It isn't really a cop out, though, because there are some good blogs out there with some good things to say. And I've added a few new ones lately. I'm not putting links to the actual articles, mainly because I started doing this, got almost all the way through, and realized I'd forgot, but also because I want you to check out the whole blog, not just one article. In most cases, the article is the newest one -- it should be close to the top, anyway.

Dr. R. Albert Mohler has a great article about engaging culture and the role of faith in politics. And I'd put his article first even if he wasn't my Systematic I teacher!

Back of the Envelope is still on semi-haiatus, so he's running Sluggy Freelance recaps. You really need to check this comic out. It's one that I read every day, without fail. It's Nifty!!

Bene Diction and Beyond the Rim both have outstanding viewpoints of the Russian hostage situation and the loss of life there.

Rebecca from Rebecca Writes is blogging on behalf of David Brainard -- who would have blogged if they'd had computers, electricity, and the Internet back then. I love this idea -- it's fascinating to read excerpts from Brainard's diary and see how God was working through him among the Native Americans.

Get Religion has a piece on Christian comedian Brad Stine, and his gig at the GOP "after party" with the Bush twins. I commented over there that it was a shame Mark Lowry and Isaac Air Freight were ahead of their time. (Got to see Isaac Air Freight at Liberty my freshman year. Laughed my head off -- that's why my grades were so bad; no head.)

Ian's Messy Desk has a very funny list of caddy retorts. I'm just glad I don't play on courses that are nice enough to have caddys. I'm sure I'd hear most of these during my round.

Imago Dei has a new address and a new look. Check out http://www.imago-dei.net/

Jollyblogger has a really neat piece on Superman and Christ, and the comparisons made between the two. I'd often thought about it, but it's interesting to read other people's take on the subject.

Jared at Mysterium Tremendum has a neat list of "Things I Like". I may do something similar tomorrow night after church.

Bryan at Spare Change is looking for a few good blogmates (is that a word?). He wants people who want to become a part of the "Spare Change Team". This sounds like an opportunity to me for someone who thinks they might like to blog, but can't (or won't) take the time to set one up of their own. Head over there, and email Bryan for details.

Think that's it for this trip. I have to prepare a Bible study Powerpoint for tomorrow evening (and as usual, I'm waiting until the last minute to do it -- I know what I'm going to do, it's just the actual doing that I haven't started yet), so you won't hear from me until after about 8:30 Eastern (US) time. Maybe I'll figure out something to write about by then ...

Posted by Warren Kelly at 10:22 PM | Comments (0)

September 05, 2004

Turnabout is Fair Play

We've been hearing a little about conservative churches being monitored by liberal 'separation of church and state' advocates, to make sure that there's no political activity going on in the services, with threats to have tax-exemption revoked. Now a Catholic group is asking the IRS to revoke the tax-exempt status of a church in Florida:

The Catholic League said the bishop of Miami's New Birth Baptist Church, Bishop Victor T. Curry, "welcomed" former Democratic presidential candidate Rev. Al Sharpton and the chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Terry McAuliffe. "Rev. Sharpton, speaking from the pulpit, added to the politicized atmosphere by shouting, 'We're not people who are going to be beat twice,'" Catholic League President William Donohue said. "But no one was more partisan than McAuliffe: 'Bush has misled us for four years and will not mislead us for the next four years. Get out to vote and we'll send Bush back to Texas.' Consequently, the Catholic League will ask the IRS to revoke the tax-exempt status of this church," he added.
Interesting. And yet, when Rev. George Rutter stated from the pulpit that "No one has a right to take communion", it was seen as an unconstitutional act in violation of the wall of separation and should result in the loss of tax exemption. Terry McAuliffe has crossed the line, and if the church/state separationists are at all consistant in their policies and advocacy, they'll go after the tax exempt status of New Birth Baptist Church in Miami.

I'm not holding my breath. You can read the whole story here.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 08:33 PM | Comments (0)

Rise of the Godbloggers?

Evangelical Outpost has an interesting article on the State of the Blogosphere after the elections in November. He's looking for a change in the whole structure of blogging, including Godblogging.

Religion can rise -- The two topics verboten in polite conversation are the two topics everyone most wants to talk about – politics and religion. With the relative decline of the political discourse, there is the chance that discussions of religion will become more popular. Religion blogging, though, needs its breakout star. The fact that there is no Catholic equivalent of Instapundit or an evangelical Andrew Sullivan prevents religious discussions from reaching a broader audience. While I can’t predict that this will in fact be a result of the coming changes, I think it provides a unique opportunity and renewed hope for religious bloggers.

I wasn't sure I agreed with him on the lack of a "big" Godblogger. Then I checked TTLB, and in the top 100, I could find no Godblogger. Many Christians who blog politics, but nobody who blogs religion on a consistant basis.

Of course, GetReligion isn't listed there at all, that I could see. It's easy to see TTLB as the ultimate index of the blogosphere, but we need to remember to look beyond. GetReligion is an outstanding blog, written by believers who comment on the reporting of religion in the popular press. Maybe that isn't the strict definition of a Godblogger, though.

Checking out blogs4God, we have He Lives, who is getting a LOT of hits. Dealing mainly with evolution/creation issues will do that for you, though I've seen great posts there that weren't on that subject. Jollyblogger and Parableman also come to mind as having great potential to rise to the top. Of course, the Evangelical Outpost itself gets a lot of attention, and shouldn't be ignored.

I think the point of the article at EO, and the point I'm trying to make, is that there is going to be a shift in focus in the blogosphere. We need to be ready to take advantage of it. We can make a difference, if we try.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)

September 07, 2004

It's Carnival Time Again!!

This coming Wednesday is the next Christian Carnival, and will behosted at Fringe.

If you have a blog, this will be agreat way to get read, and possibly pick up readers in the process orhighlight your favorite post from the past week.To enter is simple.

First, you post should be of a Christian nature,but this does not exclude posts that are political (or otherwise) innature from a Christian point of view.
Secondly please send only onepost dated since the last Christian Carnival.
Then, do the following:

email me at jeremiah.lewis(at)gmail.com with a subject of Christian Carnival
Provide the following:

Title of your Blog
URL of your Blog
Title of your post
URL linking to that post
Description of the post

Cut off date is Tuesday, 11pm EST.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)

September 08, 2004

Mea Culpa 2

Parableman posted a great response to my blog about the rise of the Godbloggers. I'm a bit upset at myself, becasue about the only thing my post showed was that I don't read enough good Godbloggers -- and that I forgot about a few good ones that I DO read.

Thought about just deleting my post, but I figure I'll leave it up to remind myself to do better digging next time. I DO thing that Godblogging has potential to increase in both visibility and popularity, and I think there are a few really good Godblogs out there (Like Parableman, EO, Bene Diction, and others that I DID mention), and there are some smaller blogs that have some potential (click a few links on my blogroll to see some). Somewhere in there is this blog. This blog is kinda like a little dog -- lots of bark, not many people pay attention, and then WHAM!! -- it bites you on the leg.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:50 AM | Comments (0)

September 09, 2004

LOTS going on ...

First of all, the Christian Carnival is up at Fringe. I didn't really write anything that I thought was Carnival-worthy, so I'm not there. Lots of other people DID write some good stuff, though, so head over there and read.

Second, I was remis in reporting on the Best of Me Symphony, which is up at The Owners Manual. That's another thing I really want to get back into -- I'm just having a hard time finding good stuff from six months ago. If any of you have any suggestions, let me know.

Speaking of which, my email address is over on the right side, if you want to drop me a line. It seems to be spam-bot proof -- we'll see.

I'm painfully aware of the lack of good posts lately. I'm working on my first real research paper as a graduate student -- and the first research paper I've done in a VERY long time; marketing majors do projects involving surveys and a different kind of research! I think the last real research paper I did was in Philosophy, on the worldviews presented in the series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Got me an A-, and helped save my grade in the class, but there wasn't much research involved (hence the minus in the A-). it was a VERY good paper, though -- I gave it to a high school teacher of mine to read, and never saw it again, so I can't post it (in whole or in part), which stinks, 'cause it was really good.

You may see some observations and things on inerrancy and inspiration here in the next week or so -- that's what my paper is on. When the rough draft is done (probably next week some time), I'll post a copy somewhere, and maybe some kind folks can read it and let me know how bad it is.

I also know that the Mark study is way over due -- I'm hoping to have that up on Saturday. I have a TON of reading to do for my Systematic Theology class, but I should be about caught up very soon. Then the blogging MIGHT get back to normal.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 03:56 PM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2004

A Dangerous God

I cruised over to Credenda:Agenda this evening -- something I hadn't done in a while. The cover title started me thinking: "God the Dangerous".

First thing I thought of was an allusion made by Derek Webb. In The Chronicles of Narnia, the children ask if Aslan is a safe lion. They are told No, he is not safe. But he is good.

Is God safe? How do we define safe? Safe, as in people won't want to kill us for believing in Him? Too many people have been martyred for us to seriously believe that. Safe, as in people will think good things about us? You should know that isn't true; if you don't, you haven't spoken about Christ in public recently. People don't like it when they are confronted witht he truth of God's love, and Christ's death for them. They will think you are not intelligent. They will think you are a dupe. They will think you have no independant thought. You aren't modern (or postmodern) enough.

Safe, as in people will let you practice your religion as you are led by your conscience? Ask ministers in Canada who want to speak out against homosexuality, but cannot without breaking the law. Ask the house churches in China. Ask the underground church in Russia.

God is not safe. Christianity is not safe. We know that it is good -- and our job is to let the world know it, too. Sometimes we don't do such a good job. Sometimes we don't admit that we did anything wrong, even when we have. The world watches us, to see what kind of God we serve, by our actions. We must make sure that we show them the right one. Not the safe one.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:45 PM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2004

9/11 Three Years Later

This is pretty much a required post today. All over the blogosphere, people are writing about 9/11 and its impact on them.

Three years ago, I was in front of a classroom full of highschool sophomores. I didn't even know about the attack until almost 10 AM, because I was teaching. Actually, long-term substituting for my wife, who had just had our daughter a month before. She was here in Ohio because her grandmother had dies -- I had flown home on September 10th, so I could teach.

Second period was my planning, so I walked into the Social Sutdies faculty room, where the TV was on to Fox News (as usual). I saw the familiar outline of the World Trade Center, and smoke coming from the top. I was glued to the TV until the bell rang for third period.

Of course, by then the kids all had heard. The rest of the day -- in fact, for most of the rest of the week -- we watched the news and talked about what happened. "Are we at war?", "Are they going to attack here?", "Is the school safe?" -- all questions I had to deal with, and "I don't know" wasn't a good enough answer. "At war with whom? These are terrorists", "Why would they attack a little town south of Atlanta? What do we have here?", "If the school wasn't safe, they'd send us home" (which was exactly what they were hoping for). Soon, classes turned into a series of lessons on the modern history of terrorism (Entebbe, the '72 Olympics, etc.), the motivations of the Islamic terrorists (US support of Israel, out troops in Saudi Arabia, etc.). It took a little effort, but I found a way for the kids to learn something out of the ordeal.

Of course, when I got home I was different. My first concern was for my wife and newborn daughter, who were 13 hours away. We spent a lot of time on the phone that night, then I called my Mom and sister. I was most worried about Mom, who lives a mile from NAS Pensacola. She was fine, but had noticed a LOT more aircraft in the air than ever before. And there was heavy security at the gate when she went to the national cemetary to visit my Dad's grave.

A lot has happened in the last three years. We are accepting some things that we never would have before. Some of the things we should expect, since we are at war. Some of the things we need to make sure stop when peace is restored. But I think that it is very safe to say that in another 50-100 years, historians teaching US history will differentiate between the US pre-9/11 and the US post-9/11. Because this nation will never be the same again.

I'm not sure yet if that's a good thing or not.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 02:43 PM | Comments (0)

Cheap Shot to the Right

Steve Gushee has a great article in the Palm Beach Post. He talks about Noah and the Flood, the covenant that God made with man after the flood, what caused the flood, etc. Unfortunately, he ruins the whole article (at least for me) in the second paragraph.

Some conservative Christians will insist that Hurricanes Frances and Charley were (and Ivan might be) the result of God's will to punish us for some litany of behavior of which they disapprove. They are not only mistaken about divine climate control, but they make a mockery of the very Scripture they believe is without error.
Is anyone else wondering who the heck he's talking about?

I'm a conservative Christian. I hang out with conservative Christians. Heck, I'm married to a conservative Christian. I read lots of things written by conservative Christians. I haven't heard this one. Nobody I've heard of has mentioned the whole punishment for sin thing -- mainly for the exact reason that Gushee mentions in his article. God promised not to punish us that way any more. That's how we know that the storms that have battered Florida are because of odd weather patterns, not divine justice.

Unfortunately, Gushee takes a wonderfully-written column, a piece rare in journalism in that it takes theological truth seriously, and turns it into a vicious and (from what I can tell) unfounded attack on a LOT of people.

Maybe, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, there's a preacher who is writing his sermon for tomorrow. He's got the only satelite dish in his little town, and he's been watching the events taking place in Florida. His flock is familiar with Florida -- they've heard about Baywatch, after all, and Doc Sanders went there for that convention, so they KNOW the immorality that goes on there. So he decides to tell them that God has decided to judge these evil Floridians for their fornication and perversion. As he writes this, he can hear the AMENs ringing out in the pews.

Maybe this is the guy that Steve Gushee has in mind. Maybe Steve Gushee even believes that this guy is representative of "conservative Christians". But I can assure him, and you all, that conservative Christians aren't this stupid. And we're getting pretty tired of people treating us as if we are.

Maybe if Gushee had started the column off with something like this:

I was listening to Preacher X the other day, and he said something that disturbed me. He said that the hurricanes in Florida were ...
I'd have had less of a problem with that. I'd have an idea that there was actually someone that he had in mind, who said this idiotic thing, and I could go off on them about their stupidity. Unfortunately, all we get is "some conservative Christians will" do this.

I wonder if he even heard anyone say this, or if he just decided that it sounded good, and would get him some praise from the people who read his column. If that's the case, he's no better than the hypothetical preacher in my story -- changing and shaping the facts to suit his audience, with no regard for the truth.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 05:54 PM | Comments (0)

Ain't She Sweet?

This is my daughter, taken at Easter this year. I'm trying out the Hello! thing from Picasa to see how well it works. Posted by Hello

Posted by Warren Kelly at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2004

Carnival Time Again!

This coming Wednesday is the next Christian Carnival, and will behosted at Rebecca Writes. If you have a blog, this will be agreat way to get read, and possibly pick up readers in the process or highlight your favorite post from the past week.

To enter is simple. First, you post should be of a Christian nature,but this does not exclude posts that are political (or otherwise) innature from a Christian point of view. Secondly please send only one post dated since the last Christian Carnival. Then, do the following:

email Rebecca at rstark(at)northwestel.net

Provide the following:
Title of your Blog
URL of your Blog
Title of your post
URL linking to that post
Description of the post

Cut off date is Tuesday night at 12AM EST.

Don't forget to encourage a friend to contribute, and have them stopby and join the Christian Carnival mailing list at http://patriot-paradox.com/mailman/listinfo/christiancarnival_patriot-paradox.com

Posted by Warren Kelly at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

September 13, 2004

Storm Tracking

Blogging might be a bit light in the next few days. My Mom lives in Pensacola, FL, and it looks like Ivan might be headed up her driveway.

We've talked her into heading for shelter further inland, but she doesn't really want to leave. I was planning on heading down there this evening/tomorrow early morning, but she doesn't want me to come.

So far, she hasn't even gotten plywood for her windows, because she doesn't know how to put it up, and probably couldn't do it herself anyway. Of course, her neighbors are all ready for the storm.

So most of my Internet time is going to be spent at www.noaa.gov, watching the storm and it's projected path. And hoping it blows a different direction -- preferably backwards out to sea.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 06:02 PM | Comments (0)

Come Hear the Symphony

The Best of Me Symphony is up a The Owner's Manual, so head over there and check it out. This week is hosted by The Young Ones -- who I hadn't seen in a VERY long time! Of course, my early education in British comedy was through the PBS station in Washington DC (WETA), so that might explain it.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 07:29 PM | Comments (0)

Why Do We Do It?

Just scanned this article about Bloggers not getting rich off their blogs. I was kinda shocked that anyone found this newsworthy. There are a LOT of bloggers out there -- some better than others, some just better informed, some just really lucky. I don't know of anyone who is trying to do this for a living. If they are, I feel sorry for them.

So if it's not to make a living, why do it? Why spend the time? Why spend the money?

I can only speak for myself. I KNOW it isn't about money. I used to be a marketing major, and now I'm in seminary, so I'm not even doing my REAL job for the money. It's not even really about the fame (though it would be neat to be walking down the street and have someone say "Hey! You're that View from the Pew guy, aren't you?").

I discovered blogging through an article I read online -- I don't even remember where. I started scanning blogs, and found Christians in the blogosphere. Christians with attitude. Christians with a message that they were getting out. And I thought "I want in on that!"

I had been hosting my own web site for a while. Had some articles that I had written up, but nobody was really reading them. It wasn't enough for me to just write this stuff -- I wanted someone to read what I was writing. I had something to say, and there were people who would listen -- I was sure of it.

I was also sure that I didn't want to spend a bunch of money. I was dumping over a hundred a year into my wkelly.org site, and had no results to speak of. I also wanted to make sure I'd stick with this blogging thing. So I headed over to BlogSpot, and signed up. I haven't shut up since :-)

And people read this stuff, too! I can remember getting my first comment (thanks, Rebecca). I watched my stats like a man obsessed (still do), and saw the number of hits I was getting. Not many, compared to most blogs. But a lot more than my "real" site. People subscribed to my feed. I got compliments posted on other sites.

And now, I'm hooked. If I don't post something, I get mad at myself -- I feel like I'm letting people down. Whenever I read something interesting, the first thing I think of is "I can blog that." My blog has given me a forum that I'd never had before. And sometimes, I think that I can make an impact. Somewhere. Somehow.

And I think that's why many people blog. To make an impact. Maybe not the teenagers who post things like "OMG hez such a QT!! 2 much 4 me!!" are trying to change the world. But there are folks out there trying to make a difference, and they, in the long run, are the future of this thing we all call the blogosphere. I'm just hoping to be part of that second group.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:55 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2004

Who would YOU believe??

Interesting article from National Review about the CBS document scandal. My favorite part, though, is right at the end:

Well, if you agree with Rather, maybe you should give just a smidgen more slack to George W. Bush about the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Bush's sources were more solid by several orders of magnitude than Rather's, and yet it is "obvious" to so many that Bush lied while Rather deserves the benefit of the doubt. George W. Bush had the head of the CIA, the intelligence agencies of all our allies, the Clinton administration, the United Nations, and most of the establishment media generally backing his understanding of the threat from Iraq. Dan Rather had a couple shoddy Xeroxes — not all of which were examined thoroughly or at all. He interviewed a partisan — Ben Barnes — a huge backer of Kerry whose story has changed several times. But because many who hate Bush believe he lied, they are willing to believe any lies that confirm what they already know to be true.
And that's the way it is. Dan Rather is going down with his rapidly sinking ship.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 02:51 PM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2004


Training camp for the 2004-2005 NHL season has NOT started as usual. The story is here from NHL.com.

I'm looking for a script that will count up from today, just to keep track of how many days without hockey I have to go. I figure withdrawl will start sometime in early November.

{edit} Already, I want to say more about this. This will be fairly uncharacteristic of this blog, so I ask for your forgiveness in advance.

Gary Bettman' comments are an interesting read. Of course, Bob Goodenow contradicts pretty much everything he says. And Trevor Linden gives a good view of the players' perspective.

I'm really not sure where I stand on this. I don't like unions -- in fact, I think that in most cases, labor unions have outlived their usefulness. I think that there are cases where labor unions have actually (long term) cost their members their jobs, because of unwillingness to cooperate with "management". I think that atheletes in general are overpaid -- I recognize the fact that their athletic careers are short, but I haven't seen many former athletes who weren't able to get a good job after their retirement from competition. I can understand them opposing a salary cap, and I don't really think a salary cap will work as well as the owners think it will.

I think the fact that the NHLPA didn't strike shows that they are willing to work things out with the owners. If the owners stick to their idea of a salary cap -- in whatever form -- we won't have hockey this year. I'm a bit irritated with both sides -- they've had a long time to try and work this out, and so far they are as far apart as they were when they started.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 08:52 AM | Comments (0)

Breaking (sort of) News!

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary President R. Albert Mohler Jr. announced Sept. 16 the establishment of the Center for Science and Theology along with the appointment of renowned philosopher of science William A. Dembski as its first director.

I actually heard about this at 11 this morning, but I didn't have time to post it until now. Otherwise, i might have even scooped Baptist Press on this one, if only by a few seconds.

That's why I need to get that wireless card for my PDA.....

I'm looking forward to taking a class or two from Dr. Dembski. Of course, it may take me longer to graduate if I do that ...

Posted by Warren Kelly at 05:34 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2004

Ivan Update

I heard from Mom yesterday. She couldn't get down to the house because of a gas leak on Gulf Beach Highway -- and yes, that's as close to the water as it sounds. Some people on the opposite side of the road from her had major damage from the storm surge, but I don't think she's close enough to the gulf for that. I'm just hoping the roof is still on when she gets back.

I have no idea when I'll be headed down there. In fact, right now I don't even have a car -- it's having fuel pump replacement surgery done on it to the tune of almost $600. Ah, the carefree life of a seminarian!!

On the bright side, I think I did well on my first Hermeneutics exam. I guess that's something, anyway.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)

God, Sovereignty, and the Really Bad Week.

This week started off bad. I got to Louisville Tuesday and realized I'd forgotten 1) my toiletries kit, including soap, deodorant, and toothbrush, and 2) my "dress" shoes -- suede, but nice-looking, for class. I also only had one towel. One. Praise God for dryers.
Tuesday afternoon I bomb my Philosophy quiz, because I studied the wrong stuff. Then it got worse, as I started to realize Ivan was going to hit Mom.
Wednesday, my car died.
Thursday, I spent worried about Mom, and wondering how I was going to get home with no car. And how I was going to PAY for said car.

Today, I realized how stupid I was to be that worried -- except for worrying about Mom, I mean. Car's fixed, and we had the money to pay for it. I wore shorts and sneakers to class, and it didn't kill me (you have to understand -- I have trouble doing business casual, let alone casual casual, in a classroom setting. Leftover from the shirt-and-tie days at Liberty). A new travel kit from WalMart cost me $6.10 after tax -- and I got everything I needed, including soap.

My problem was that I forgot that God is in charge. I was so stressed about how I was going to fix things, and what I was going to do, that I forgot that I am not in charge. God is. God was in control all week long. All I had to do is realize it, and get my hands off the controls.

I talked about temptation last Sunday night at church, and how sometimes God uses temptation to try us, to get us ready for His use (Deut. 8:2). Maybe I should have listened to myself.

And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.
(Deuteronomy 8:2 ESV)
And, yes, God already knows how we'll do. The purpose of the test is to make sure that we know what we can do.

BTW, got word from Mom. Some shingles are missing, the screen that went over the pool is messed up, but otherwise, the house is in OK shape. After looking at some of the pictures on Pensacolanewsjournal.com, and seeing some of the mess that used to be buildings near her, I was REALLY concerned. She's still going to be three weeks without power, so she may be headed here, or to my sister's place in Tampa. But it could have been SO much worse.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 08:35 PM | Comments (0)

Welcome, Visitors!

I'm getting a bunch of hits from people looking for information on hurricane Ivan. I hope you'll stick around, read a bit of the blog, and MAYBE become a regular reader (I DO have some of those!).

My Mom lives in the Chevallier subdivision off Gulf Beach Highway, almost in Alabama (maybe 10 minutes to Orange Beach, probably not even that far). She got to go to the house today, but couldn't stay. The houses there had a lot of shingle damage, but I haven't heard of much more. The bridge into Alabama is closed because of flooding. Orange Beach and Perdido beaches were hit hard.

I don't have a LOT of info, so I'll give you some links that will help you out.

  • Pensacola News Journal: Probably the best source for info. If you want information on a specific area, check into the forums. My sister got some info about my Mom's house from someone on the forums. People are helping out there. There are also pictures.
  • PCCBoard: There are several threads about the storm, and especially the condition of the campus of Pensacola Christian College. They have some resources from people "on the ground" in Pensacola, so you'll be able to get some info there. Tell them 'phoenix' sent ya'!

If you know of any more resources, PLEASE leave me a comment and put the link there. I'll monitor the comments and update the list periodically. AND I'm gonna see if there's a way to keep this post at the top of the blog for a few days.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)

September 18, 2004

This Week in Church History

September 22, 1931

While riding to a zoo in the sidecar of his brother's motorcycle, C.S. Lewis made the most important decision in his life. He converted from mere theism to Christianity.

"When we set out I did not believe that Jesus is the Son of God and when we reached the zoo I did."

Lewis had been having ongoing discussions with J.R.R. Tolkien and Hugo Dyson about religion, and became convinced of Christianity's truth through them -- though I'm sure that Tolkien was disappointed that Lewis joined the Anglican church, rather than espousing Tolkien's own Roman Catholic faith. Lewis joined the church and took his first communion on Christmas Day that year.

I doubt that anyone knew the influence that Lewis would have on Christianity and Christian thought. His work Mere Christianity is an incredible logical defense of Christianity, that doesn't become dogmatic or lead to any specific denomination. His Narnia series introduces children to key Christian truths, including the resurrection of Christ. His Screwtape Letters have become a Christian classic. He continues to influence Christian thought to this day, though his theology would be considered far from evangelical today.

No big moral lesson in this one -- I'd just recommend everyone go out and buy a copy of Mere Christianity, if you don't already have one. And read it. And share it.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 02:49 PM | Comments (0)

September 19, 2004

Study of Mark: Mark 5

(I figured it had been so long, I'd go ahead and do tha whole chapter today).

I'm also not going to cut and paste the whole chapter. Go here and read it.

Jesus starts off the chapter by showing His sovereignty over demons by casting them out. The demoniac has been afflicted for some time, and has either left or been run out of the city. He lives among the tombs -- caves, in other words. The Bible also makes sure we know just how strong this guy was -- his shackles and chains had been broken many times before. Nobody wanted to mess with the guy.

The demons know exactly who Jesus is. Verse 7 -- "What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me." The demons are begging for their survival -- they are afraid that Christ has come to finally condemn Satan and his followers to the pit or all eternity. Christ knows that that time has not yet come. But He delivers the man from the demons.

I don't know why He sent the demons into the swine. I DO know that this caused the people who owned the swine to be VERY upset at Him. Maybe these people were Jews who weren't supposed to be tending pigs (unclean animals), and Christ was rebuking their rebellion. In any case, when word got around about what had happened, people came to check things out. I think their reaction is interesting. "... they were afraid. ... And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region." They didn't know who this guy was, but they knew they didn't want Him around. He was causing problems. He was making them re-evaluate the way things were.

That's what Jesus does when He enters our lives. We have to re-evaluate things. Our priorities change. Our goals change. Even our speach may change. Our attitudes and outlook change. Christ challenges us to think the way He thinks. And many people don't like that. They are afraid of changing the way they think. They don't want to view the world the way Christ does -- as sinful people in need of a Savior. They don't want to feel what He felt as He looked over Jerusalem. They want to continue to pursue their own goals and dreams, and not subordinate them to Christ's will. And they know that Christ requires them to do exactly that.

Unfortunately, many Christians don't recognize that. We pray the prayer, walk the aisle. We get dunked. We sign a membership card. We go to Sunday School. And Christ never makes an impact on our lives at all. We are living with the form of Godliness, but we deny it's power. Power over our world, but also it's power over us. Our challenge is to live each day, more and more conformed to the image of Christ, and to see everything the way He sees it.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 03:45 PM | Comments (0)

Blood Boiling

Check out this over at The Owner's Manual.

Quality people, those union Democrats. Really believe in tolerance.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2004

Creeds and Christianity

There's an interesting article here about Christian private schools in Australia, and how many times the religion aspect is forgotten, or downplayed. I was going to write about THAT, and how it is happening in the US as well, until I read this sentence.

"[W]e would sing our way through the limited repertoire of hymns, and recite the incomprehensible Nicene Creed."

Now, this is the Nicene Creed:

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. Amen.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't find that all that difficult to understand -- certainly nnot incomprehensible.

I'm finding more and more, especially among Evangelicals, a resistance to creeds. "No creed but the Bible!" they shout -- not realizing that THAT is, in fact, a creed of sorts. Every Baptist church 've ever been a member of has had a creed -- of course, they called it a Statement of Faith, or their Articles of Faith, or something like that. Never a creed.

Even in the early days of the Baptist church in America, they had "Confessions", not "Creeds". Why?

Maybe the word creed, with it's Latin derivation, reminded too many of the Roman Church that had persecuted them -- though for Baptists, it was more often their fellow Protestant Anglicans who were doing the persecuting. Maybe a general fear of appearing Romish, or Popish, or whatever other -ish they were frightened of.

But maybe it's because they recognized that Christianity isn't just about believing (credo means to believe, after all). Maybe they saw that believing was only part of the equation. Didn't Jesus say that "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. "(Mat 10:32 KJV)? Maybe these early Baptists and Presbyterians and Congregationalists were on to something. Maybe it isn't enough to affirm that we believe something -- maybe we need to make sure we confess it as well.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 04:04 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2004

Presidential Prayer

Bryan over at Spare Change has started something I think we should all participate in -- 40 days of Presidential Prayer (note that "days' isn't capitalized here -- I don't want Rick Warren looking for a copyright lawyer or anything!). He could use a few good bloggers, so if you're interested, head over there and let him know.

Today's prayer is here, by Bryan himself.

Father in heaven, You are not only the author of truth, You are Truth. There is no truth outside of You. As such, I come to you asking for Your Spirit to rest heavily over our nation for this day and the next forty days as we progress toward the election of our next president.
Father, will you please give both candidates a conviction to speak their messages clearly, directly, and truthfully so that Americans will not be deceived or confused as they choose the man who will lead and represent us? Father if any of the candidates are pursuing dishonest endeavors or desiring to win the office using dishonest means, please do not allow this to happen. We ask that you'd reveal all falsehoods in the days to ahead, so that truth may be known and understood.
Lord, I also ask for Your truth to rest heavily upon the people of this country. I ask that You show us where we have fallen short, where we have been selfish, where we have been wrong. I pray this over each person, each family, each municipality, and over our identity in the international community. Where we have been right and correct, I pray that You will affirm us in this and embolden us to continue. Where we have brought glory and honor to you, I pray for your encouragement and strength. But where we have been wrong and have followed our own wisdom to the consequence of our own folly, I pray you would make that known and we would turn from our ways and follow You.
We enter into Your presence with thanksgiving in our hearts for how You have provided for us, protected us, and used us to be world leaders. We dare not take Your blessings for granted, and we confess we are nothing without You. Forgive us of our sins -- individual, congregational, corporate, and national -- so that we may be one nation under God.
We pray today for the candidates for this election, that You will be glorified in them as You see fit. We ask for Your blessing upon them, giving them grace and mercy as they seek to lead this country.
Thank You for the Holy Spirit who births these prayers in us. Thank You for Jesus, who makes intercession on our behalf. And Thank You for receiving them perfectly, despite our imperfections.

I'll be doing the Sept. 29th prayer right here, and I'll be posting and linking to the other 39 prayers.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 05:41 PM | Comments (0)

Where is everyone Coming From?

I decided to wander through my Stat-tracker and see where all the hits are coming from. The list is surprising! {EDIT NOTE -- I'm including a few more -- maybe even a full list. I have more time, now}

Purdue University North Central
The USDA Office of Operations
Southern Seminary (oh, that was me!)
Virginia Tech
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Queensland, Australia
Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Toronto, Ontario Canada
Orleans, Ontario Canada
Sudbury, Ontario Canada
{good day, eh! Welcome all you folks from the Great White North, eh? Don't you HATE it when Yanks make fun of the accent?}
Garland, Texas
several California hits
One odd one -- I'm pretty sure I know who is getting here through Matt Hall's link on his blog, but the ISP says Georgia.
the Bureau of Labor Statistics in Washington DC

I've also had hits from nasa.mil servers (!), a few more colleges (including Liberty University), and a whole mess of foreign countries.

Thanks everyone for stopping by, and I hope y'all come back!!

Posted by Warren Kelly at 06:16 PM | Comments (0)

September 24, 2004

Presidential Prayer, Day 2

I decided to just link to the prayers each day as they are posted (or as I find out they're posted).

Today's prayer is here at What in Tarnation?!?

I'm sure Bryan could use more pray-ers, so if you feel so inclined, head over there and volunteer. I THINK the link I posted the other day was wrong -- I have no idea what it went to.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:53 PM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2004

Presidential Prayer day 3

This one is back over at Spare Change. Here's the link.

Still looks like Bryan can use some more support for this, so head over there and sign up!

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:26 PM | Comments (0)

Study of Mark: Mark 6:1-6a

He went away from there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. And on the Sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished, saying, "Where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him? How are such mighty works done by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him. And Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household."And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief. And he went about among the villages teaching.
(Mark 6:1-6 ESV)

Jesus teaches in the synagogue in Nazareth. As usual, people are amazed at His teaching, and wonder at the authority He is showing that He has. But their reaction is different. "Who does he think he is? He's from around here! We saw him grow up!" Some of the older women were probably thinking the ancient Hebrew equivalent of "I changed his diapers, and now HE thinks he's going to teach ME this new stuff?"

And they weren't proud of Him. In fact, they were mad. "Who do you think you are, to tell us this stuff? What do you think you are, God or something?" They wouldn't hear Him.

I think it's interesting that He didn't do any miracles there. Nazareth would have been a perfect place to pull off a water-into-wine, or a feeding of 5,000. But the people there had no faith. They wouldn't have been persuaded even if He had done those things. Their hearts had already been hardened, because they couldn't get past who they thought Jesus was -- the dirty-faced kid who they saw playing in the street. The teenager helping his dad build houses. The young adult, doing his own construction work. They couldn't get past Jesus' humanity, to see the divinity that was there.

People have this problem all the time. The Jesus Seminar has sold a LOT of books catering to people who cannot see the divine Christ because they are too focused on the human Jesus. Of course, the other extreme is just as bad -- sometimes we look at the divine Christ so much that we miss the very human Jesus. The man who grew up with these people in Nazareth. The man who had probably built some of their homes. Who had grown up playing with some of them. These are the people Jesus the man cares about the most, and they totally reject Him and His message. It had to have broken His heart, to see these people reject Him.

Often, the hardest thing for us to do is to witness to unsaved relatives. They know us too well, and they know our faults and shortcomings. They remember the temper tantrums we used to throw when we didn't get our own way. They remember the time we pulled the tablecloth off the picnic table full of food -- and dumped hamburger all over everyone. They see our imperfections -- and they can't get past that to see the message we bring them. And when they don't accept Christ, we feel like we are the ones they are rejecting.

But we cannot stop planting seeds. Some plant, some water, some harvest, and God grants the increase. Never stop planting seeds. Never stop watering other people's seeds. Rejoice when you can harvest what someone else has planted, and rejoice when someone else harvests something that you planted. Because there's no tote-board in heaven, to see who scores the most souls. There's only one who brings people to Christ -- God, who draws all men unto Christ. All we can do is be available for Him to use, and be faithful when we are called.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 05:38 PM | Comments (0)

September 26, 2004

Symphony Time Again

Classic Movies. That's the theme of this week's Best of Me Symphony. The Symphony is being hosted by Gary at The Owner's Manual. Email him at gcruseATnetscape.com

Pick out your best post that's two months old or older, and submit it. Get some mileage out of those posts!! You worked hard to write that stuff, and people deserve to see them again!!!

Posted by Warren Kelly at 04:54 PM | Comments (0)

Presidential Prayer, Day 4

This one from Songstress over at News From the Great Beyond.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:31 PM | Comments (0)

September 27, 2004

Get The Message Out!!!

Thanks to Bene Diction Blogs On and Matthew 25:40.

It seems that there are some gun cabinets whose locks can be picked just as easily as those Kryptonite bike locks that made the news not long ago. Not hearing much about this in the press -- and it's easilly a bigger story than bike locks. It sounds like the company is going to do something about this, but we need to alert everyone to this potential danger.

Hey, if the blogosphere can take out Dan Rather's forgeries, we should be able to save some lives this way. Get the word out!!!

{edit: This isn't the first problem that Stack-On gun cabinets have had. Check this out, from November, 2000}

Posted by Warren Kelly at 02:19 PM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2004

Presidential Prayer, Day 5

Prayer for day 5 is over at Certa Veritas.

I really like this idea that Bryan had. I think it's a great way to emphasize that we are praying for the office, and for the leadership of our land, and not really a candidate -- even though I would guess a majority of those who have signed up are backing the President. God teaches us to honor our leaders, whether we agree with them all the time or not.

Sometimes, I think we get the leaders we do because God wants to test our commitment to praying for them, no matter what.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:16 AM | Comments (0)

Quick Response from Stack On

The company has an announcement on their website, here.

We are pleased to report that all of our gun safes and fire resistant safes are not affected by the developments concerning tubular cylinder locks. Our gun cabinets, however, do use a type of tubular lock and tests we conducted indicate that some of these locks are susceptible to being picked through certain manipulations. All of our gun safes and gun cabinets comply with accepted industry security standards. While all of our products continue to provide a significant deterrent to theft, we want to provide an option to our gun cabinet customers who would prefer a non-tubular lock. For those customers we are offering, free-of-charge, a replacement non-tubular lock, with instructions for installation.
Nice to see a company respond quickly. I guess if Dan Rather were in charge, they'd still be denying that anything was wrong, and that it was because of "guys in pajamas" that there was any fuss to begin with.

And that is my last Dan Rather reference. Promise.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:10 PM | Comments (0)

September 29, 2004

Presidential Prayer -- Day 6

Didn't get this up yesterday -- it's at Fresh As A Daisy.

My own entry will be up this evening.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:03 AM | Comments (0)

Carnival Time!!

The Christian Carnival is up at Intolerant Elle. LOTS of great entries this week -- including my Mark 6:1-6 study.
Reflecting on the Carnival this week, it occurrs to me that my own blogging has been a little lax lately -- even after I promised some good stuff on the way. The reason is that I didn't get my paper done NEARLY as early as I should have -- in fact, as soon as I sign off here, I have to finish it! Hopefully I can get a few things ready to go this weekend, so that while I'm writing my next two papers, I'll still have some good stuff up here.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:06 PM | Comments (0)

Presidential Prayer -- Day 7

Dear Heavenly Father

I thank You that You are sovereign. I thank You that only by Your will can anyone lead any nation.

I pray that You will give our current leader wisdom, as he makes difficult decisions every day, that affect us in ways that we may never know. I pray for all of our elected officials, that they might have Your wisdom in all that they do. I thank you, Father, that many of them seek your wisdom regularly, and I pray that those who do not will come to realize that only in You is there true wisdom.

I pray for the debates, Father. I pray that each candidate will present his message clearly and without equivocation. I pray that the debat will be civil, in spite of the tone of many campaign ads that have been run. I ask for Your wisdom to be poured out upon our nation, so that we can all see clearly who the best candidate is, and that we will all vote wisely.

And I pray for our future leader, whoever You have decided that will be. I pray that he will seek Your will, and that he will lead us wisely.

I ask these things in the name of Jesus, Your Son, our Saviour


Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:19 PM | Comments (0)

They Will Know We Are Christians ..... How, Exactly?

From Alertnet:

JERUSALEM, Sept 27 (Reuters) - Fistfights broke out on Monday at Jerusalem's Church of the Holy Sepulchre between Christian sects that jealously guard their hold on sections of the shrine built on the traditional site of Jesus's crucifixion.

"There was lots of hitting going on. Police were hit, monks were hit ... there were people with bloodied faces," said Aviad Sar Shalom, an Israeli tour guide who witnessed the fight.

The tussle between Franciscans and Greek and Russian Orthodox clerics erupted during a procession through the church on Holy Cross Day marking the fourth century discovery of the cross which some faithful believe was used in the Crucifixion.

A Greek Orthodox cleric said Franciscans had left open the door to their chapel in what was taken as a show of disrespect.

So, in other words, this whole thing started because someone left the door open.

And we wonder why people don't take us seriously. Forget What Would Jesus Do -- what would He SAY? Or would he stand there, shaking His head in disappointment that, even after almost 2,000 years, we still don't get it.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:21 PM | Comments (0)

This is What Jesus Meant!!

A book review in the Houston Chronicle really gave me a boost. The book is writen by a screenwriter who made a movie about growing up Fundamentalist. He spent three years with a Baptist congregation in Massachusetts, learning about their faith. He went to Bible studies, played with their kids, attended every service (something many Christians don't even do!).

The guy was a liberal, pure 100% (says so even in the review). Talk about incompatible lifestyles. Did the church go nuts trying to "win him for Jesus"?

Nope. They loved him.

Ault became aware of what he calls "the caring power of the congregation" when both his grant money for the film and his savings ran out and he had to stand in line for unemployment benefits. During this period the Valentis and others insisted that lunch or dinner was their treat, one church member tried to find a job in his insulation company for Ault, and yet another member left work one day with tools to fix Ault's car.
And the result?
to his great surprise he [Ault] found himself "turning more and more toward God" as a result of his years at Shawmut River Baptist Church. While he didn't become a born-again fundamentalist, he did start going to church and became a Christian.
Doesn't say what kind of church, and i'm sure there are some right liberal ones there to choose from, but the point is this:
They made a difference in his life. They cared. And now, if he isn't in an evangelical church, at least he's more receptive to the Gospel than he was when he started. Some sow, some water, some harvest -- and God grants the increase. Seems like I read that somewhere before ...

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)

You Know you're from 'Lanta

I tried to figure out which one to use -- Atlanta, Ohio, Florida, or Maryland. Atlanta's is funnier, though -- guess I lived there too long!!

You Know You're From Atlanta When...
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."

You only know their way to work and their way home.

You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.

You know to wear sneakers to the airport.

The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.

You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

You can say Ponce De Leon Avenue correctly.

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

You never go 55 on "The Watermelon 500 or the Georgia 400.

You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.

You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.

You know where 'Butthead' and 'F*ckhead' are, and it's the same part of town.

You haven't been downtown at night in years

You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate.

You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal

You know what "sunshine slowdown", "auto-flambe'", "topside" mean, and what color a H.E.R.O. is.

You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "Grady curve" are, and you try to never go there during any of the nine hours of rush "hour"

You've thought about getting a blow-up companion for the front passenger seat

You hope you are the one to spot the vehicle that is the subject of the latest "Amber Alert" which has been flashing for ten minutes on the DOT message board exactly 13.5 feet above the hood of your SUV

You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead

It's 4:30 pm Sunday, you're stone-cold sober and you've just finished the last left-over hot dog when you realize that in exactly 12 hours you have to get up and go to work - again

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Atlanta.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at


Posted by Warren Kelly at 06:12 PM | Comments (0)

September 30, 2004

Joan Rivers Loves Us!! She REALLY Does!!

Or maybe not. Tip o' the hat to Get Religion

Now for the new. From the Oct. 1 issue of Entertainment Weekly, comedian Joan Rivers continues her work as an ambassador of love:

Resplendent in a silver jacket, luxe fur scarf, black pants, and rhinestone-studded heels, Joan Rivers is angry as ever. As she frenetically paces the stage at the Stardust in Las Vegas, the crowd eats up her barbed mots on this steamy night in June. She tosses out a few zingers about Donatella Versace's face -- punctuating the joke by scrunching up her own famous enhanced visage -- and Rosie O'Donnell's hygiene (not printable in a family magazine) before directing her rage at born-again Christians. "I hate Jesus freaks," she declares. "They're ugly, she seethes, her huge cocktail ring bouncing sparkles around the room with every pointy gesticulation. "'Jesus loves me,' they say. If he loved you so much he would have given you a f----ing chin." If anyone in this blue-hair Vegas audience is offended, their qualms are buried by a room exploding in laughter.

A blue-haired Vegas audience bellowing at cheap-shot humor? Can it be? And if poor beleaguered Brad Stine were to do that last joke, aiming it at any other faith and its adherents and (of course) substituting freaking for Rivers' F-bomb, how long would his next Promise Keepers gig last?

Hey, Joan -- if you have another face lift, your belly button will be in your left nostril!! I agree with one of the commentors over at GR -- someone who's had that much surgery shouldn't EVER mock anyone else's appearance.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 01:53 PM | Comments (0)

Presidential Prayer, Day 8

Today's prayer is from the Proverbial Wife.

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:21 PM | Comments (0)

A Whine About Life in General

I started to put his at the end of the prrevious (actually, for you all, next post), but it ended up longer than I thought, so I figured it deserved it's own post.

I can't watch the debates tonight -- no TV in the Dungeon! One of these days I'm going to post a picture of what the commuter housing is like here. Of course, it only costs $10 a night, so I'm DEFINATELY not complaining. Not when the alternative is a $375 a month apartment or a $40 a night hotel room (although the Microtel DID have cable ...).

In other news -- finished my first research paper. I'm happy with it -- I just hope that the person who has to read the thing likes it. I was going to post a rough draft, but I didn't totally finish until today, so I'll put a "final copy" up over at my other web site. That one may be closing down pretty soon -- I can't justify spending the money on another year's hosting and domain registration, especially if I'm going to move this off Blogspot (may not happen for a while, so don't get your hopes up). I'm also toying with the idea of setting up a live365 radio feed, but that costs money, too. But it WOULD get some of these MP3s off my hard drive.

Still trying to find a job here -- a LOT harder than I thought it would be, since I'm only available Tuesday through Thursday in the evenings. I gave someone a resume today who told me he might be able to help me out, so I'm optimistic. I'm also keeping busy!

Posted by Warren Kelly at 09:25 PM | Comments (0)

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