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December 13, 2004


So, some people have been asking me -- "WHY did you start another blog? Why couldn't you be happy with one?" And I answer -- vanity. I am trying to start a virtual media empire. First, it's a couple of blogs. Then, a game site or two. Then an e-commerce site. Pretty soon ........

{insert dream-sequence/flash-forward music here}

Dateline: Saturn. Virtual Media mogul Warren Kelly has solidified his bid to take over the rule of this entire planet. Following a virtual-media bombardment of epic proportions, which natives have started referring to as a Pew-a-lanch, local governments surrendered control of the planet to representatives of PewView Communications, Inc. late yesterday evening in a secret meeting.

We are told that there will be a press conference later this week, but a press release has been issued. Mr. Kelly has decreed that his official title will be Lord High Communicator, and that his Official Portrait(tm) will be the required on-screen picture for all computers and cellular phones. The people of Saturn will daily kiss the picture of their Lord High Communicator and bow to show their devotion and honor.

Existing Saturnian laws will be preserved, but His Lordship has issued the following Three Demandments:

  1. The official Planetary Sport of Saturn will be changed from Dominos to Brockian Ultra-Cricket.
  2. The Planetary Anthem will be changed from "Hey, Look -- Rings!" to "Finland, Finland!" (with the word Finland changed to Saturn, obviously).
  3. The people of Saturn will be required to spend two years extended duty on assignment with the Ring Cleaning Squad.

His Lordship explained the last new law by saying, "They are not just SOME Saturnians' rings, they belong to us ALL, and we ALL need to help clean them up. Besides, it builds character."

{no, I haven't lost my mind -- this post is the Weekly Challenge in this week's King of the Blogs competition. Go there and vote for me -- and THIS is the post you need to trackback to. Remember, you readers are the BEST. You guys rock. In fact, j00 R0><0r5}

Posted by Warren Kelly at December 13, 2004 04:27 PM
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